let chocolate do the talking©

Friday, April 30, 2004

Oh my! I'm so dead! I SCREWED my chinese paper 1! I didn't know what am I writing! Die!!!! Gosh... All the best to all my other papers. I'm dead.......

Janet
blogged this at 10:19 PM

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Fuck! I fell! It sux! So fweaking painful!!! AHHH!!!! Blood oozing. Screams of pain. Simply terrible!

Janet
blogged this at 5:48 PM

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Exams on this coming FRIDAY! I'm so dead! I've not prepare anything yet. Haha... Pray for me! =P

Janet
blogged this at 8:54 PM

Monday, April 26, 2004

First time ever I treated myself to such an expensive lunch!!! 20 Bucks for one Sakae Sushi meal?! Haha... Well, I'm not so sad right now. Instead I feel... Ok? I think so. Hmmm, What else can I say? I have no idea. Ok then. Off to work!

Janet
blogged this at 8:14 PM

Saturday, April 24, 2004

We're off! Haha... No more worries! I'm free!!! Guess what did I say?! "We will be friends right?" Haha...! Well, if he doesn't fancy my character, I guess I shouldn't have held on. Why should I love someone who doesn't fancy my character?! Haha... He even say my character didn't bother him! See my point now? One contradiction. Haha... Well, though he have not really get outta my mind yet, but I will get him outta there. No worries for him because I think he long ready got me outta his mind. I feel lighter because i have less worries. I normally tend to regret about things, I don't wish to regret for what I've done to this relationship. I don't think I will. What he had done, shouldn't make me regret. Yes, I will not.

Janet
blogged this at 11:15 PM

I guess I'm reaching my goal soon. To forget and don't care. Even though I still wake up thinking of him. I had controlled myself. I did not message him. I'm remaining calm. I did not cry. Not a shed of tear for him. He's not worth my tears. Maybe because I've been hurt so many times, I guess I'm numb to this type of things. I will forget him. Went for tuition yesterday. Joanne's father sent Nicklaus and I home. We sat at the back of the lorry. I screamed. I can't stand how he's treating me. I remained quiet, listening to "My Immortal". It just suits the atmosphere I was experiencing yesterday. My mood was down and hurt. May I know, why does he still want to be with me, when he don't talk to me, don't message me. We are like strangers. I have the feeling that he just want to be with me physically and not emotionally or mentally. That's all I can conclude. If he don't mean this, what else? He don't even explain why is he behaving in such a ignorant way. He always says he's tired that's why he talks to me in such a boring tone. Well, I guess I can't be bothered about it any longer. I will forget him in no time, just because of the way he is treating me. Should I break off with him? Please give me some advice. Should I just leave it this way because he may have his own reasons for doing this and we have a misunderstanding? Or should I just let it be, and take it as a silent break up? Well, maybe he is already thinking we have already broken up. Please consider this scenario: You are having a relationship with this girl you don't really love already. If she didn't reply you, would you message her? Would you simply ignore the message she sent to you previously and continuing doing your stuff OR would you send her a message asking more questions? Guys, do you behave in such a way to your girlfriends? Do you have a reason why? If you have, please leave me a message and I would see if it is because of that reason too. Girls, do you think I am too sensitive? Thinking about it too much? Assuming things? I do feel jealous when he gets close to any girls, joking around with them. I'm really in a mess, I feel screwed up. This is the most confusing and vexing love I've ever had. I even wrote a book about how I felt. Am I being too obsess with him? Shuks.

Janet
blogged this at 4:43 PM

Friday, April 23, 2004

I feel pissed! I don't know how he's thinking, what is he doing. He don't messages me, don't talk to me, just simply ignorant! I can't be bothered about it already. I'll leave it to him. I just feel that he's treating me like a spare tyre. Only use me when he's in need (lonely I mean). Everytime I misses him, I would force myself to think, "It's over, no point thinking about it, he only treats you like a spare tyre. Don't fall deeper. He's not even sure of his feelings then why should I bother too? Assume we have broken up." I'm tired. Somebody please help me. How to forget him?! Keep me occupied with something please!

Janet
blogged this at 9:58 PM

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Today isn't that bad. We did talk. But I have the feeling it's so different from the days when we just got together. Well, I guess I can't think too much on that first, let nature takes it course ya? Actually, there is still more. Something sweet happened. *hEhEx* I can't say! *blush* I'm quite happy though. Yesterday I was totally feeling so... HURT! Ok... Enough of him. Let's say about my work! Lots of homework!!!! I'm rushing? Yes I am! Weird thing is that 2 days ago, I didn't have my recess, lunch, dinner only a bit. I could stay up till 12.30 to do my work and yet still not feeling tired! Amazing! Normally around 11.00, my eyes would be half closed already. Whoa... People whom I seldom talk to can see I'm look unhappy this few days. My face really so depressing? Shuks... I should change... Hmmm... OK enough of all these. I'm going to bathe! =)

Janet
blogged this at 5:54 PM

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

I'm feeling really down. Really hurt. I just can't seem to forget him. I feel distracted whenever I see him. But truthfully, I feel it's tearing apart. I don't want to lose him. Really. He told me nasty things yesterday which really makes me ponder am I really such a person as what he described. I really wish he can look at me, say goodbye to me, accompany me home. I want to feel loved by him. I wanted to talk to him. But I don't know why I didn't! I was frustrated with myself. Why can't I just open my mouth and talk to him about something. I wish he can read this and know how I feel towards him. Please understand me and I wish he can look at me and talk to me like usual. I just seems to be physically in class but not mentally. He's in my mind all along. I feel really jealous when he jokes around with girls. Am I being too sensitive? Self-centred? Haiz... Something will happen later. It's for sure. I'm prepared, but I don't wish to prepare myself for the worst. Don't leave me.

Janet
blogged this at 6:30 PM

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

I'm sad. Really sad. I got the feeling like it's going to end anytime. I doubt him. I really do, even though he asked me to trust him. His words are contradicting and it doesn't make sense to me at all. All I understand is that he don't fancy me while we are both doing our own stuff, like me when we are alone. Does this make sense to you people reading this? He "claims" he loves me. Action speaks louder than words. He can say it but can he do it? He's sweet and cute, but fancy him hurting me for the second time. Kept thinking yesterday why was I so stupid to engage myself into a relationship with him. He hurt me once, and I told myself I would be strong, I would not like him again. Just a few weeks back, we chatted on msn. That was not really the sparkle, but the conversation after he left msn and message me on the phone. We talked about his past relationship, and our "relationship".Now that was the heat. We chatted till 3am. We talked a lot. This week was a very sweet and loving week, but I can sense it's going to end pretty soon. I suffered a breakdown the other time. I really wish I can be stronger this time because this isn't the first time. I don't really feel pain yesterday, but I really wished his feelings would remain the same. He told me this morning "Believe it a not, my feelings have not change for you." When I went to school, I was sad, I dare not look at him, even though later after school I stared at him. I really wish he don't give up on me. Because I really love him. People pray hard for me please? I'll tell you guys tomorrow as what will happen later and maybe tomorrow. Sad.

Janet
blogged this at 5:45 PM

Sunday, April 18, 2004

I simply got mood to do anything but only think of him. I know this will affect my studies. I know I know. I can't help it right?! Its my mind. I can control it, but who would have the interest to do work right? Such a bad weather, so hot, so stuffy. Just simply laid back not doing anything but miss him. I bought pink polo tees yesterday! So happy! Just add a few stuff into my blog. Please do not hesitate but give me some comments on my blog alright? Thanks!

Janet
blogged this at 3:20 PM

Friday, April 16, 2004

I'm feeling tired but sweet though. Tuition today, went for dinner with Nicholas, Joanne, Alan, Shao Wei. Korean food! My favourite! Uh huh. It has been 3 days right? *hEhEx* 13 April, 12:17am. Yup! Love the times we have. Standing beside you, walking beside you, hearing your laughter, it's just all so sweet! Shuks! Am I so madly in love? Haha... Hope he loves me as much as I do too! Well... Miss you... =)

Janet
blogged this at 9:37 PM

Thursday, April 15, 2004

I just took my chinese oral that tuesday. It was still ok, although I stuttered a bit. Yesterday was a very sweet day for me! =) Well, don't tell you! *hEhEx* This whole week is tests week. Tests lined up for us, but today we asked for the chemistry test to be postponed to next tuesday. I'm still wondering whether to take Johne's wife's maths tuition. Nicholas asked me whether I would want to take that tuition with him. I still considering. About my love life... Hmm... I guess I do have an answer right now, and I'm happy. So don't have to worry for me ok guys? Thanks for the concern! =) I'm ok! I'm not having much appetite lately, I don't know why. But I still do grab something to bite whenever I'm hungry. Well, I guess I have to stop here. I'll go have my dinner right now!

Janet
blogged this at 6:34 PM

Monday, April 12, 2004

Ok! I'm writing this now even though I still have alot of other stuff I have not complete because, I feel really vexed and confused over my relationships. People told me to concentrate, some even ask me why I did not give "him" a chance. Felt so down the whole day, I couldn't eat nor drink. I threw away more den 3/4 of rice I bought for lunch. Just feel so troubled. I can't think more! I'm VEXED!

Janet
blogged this at 10:14 PM

Sunday, April 11, 2004

It's been days since I update this huh? Oh well, I've been real busy with the cheerleading dance and all that other stuff. Finally it's all over. But now the real challenge is here. O Levels! Just the day before, I slept at 3 in the morning and woke up at 6.15. Just simply weared out! Tuition and tuition, one after another. I'm tired. Haiz... Things are going smoothly, and plain. It's falling apart? I don't know. We are busy. I'm tired. Just don't know what to do. Let nature take its course then.

Janet
blogged this at 1:41 PM

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Whoo Hoo!!! Loyalty won!!!! But I can't believe it! We lost to Honesty in the cheerleading competition! So angry! It's ok, relax. Overall Loyalty still win! Miss Ang can spilt! I'm so amazed! Luckily I brought my radio to the stadium for practice.. Phew~ The stupid system suddenly break down. Thought we wouldn't be able to perform. So happy! Ever since primary 1, I have never recieved one gold before. Finally, I waited for so long! Thanks Jazreel for catching up with the other teams! 10 years! I've waited for so long. Saturday going out with Neville, Gee Teng and Nicklaus to meet Gee Teng's "net friend"; Ling Xin. Hope everything will go smoothly, as I guess it would be my last outing. I can't go out already, guess I'm grounded, AGAIN. Haiz.... (T_T)

Janet
blogged this at 6:41 PM

Friday, April 02, 2004

Yeah! It's my birthday! Finally, after so many days, I can once again update my blog. Sorry people it's that little few things, but I'll try to get it done as quick as possible! Stupid Juni and Godfrey! Pour me water! I in container room some more! So cold! It's so "exposed"! Grrr... Poor Neville got suan by Joanne and the rest. Haha... I pity you. I'll update again once I get back home! Going out have "first year birthday celebration with my family" dinner! Hehe...

Janet
blogged this at 6:47 PM