let chocolate do the talking©

Monday, January 31, 2005

Worked early today because on saturday we had a catering and we need to clear up quite a lot of stuff. Started at 9 and ended at 3. Met Stanley at 3.35pm. Damn he's good at making girls wait. I waited for him like 20 minutes?! Walked around Raffles City till 4.30 and I went back to my workplace? I'm so darn bored and dead tired but went to met him because he pestered me for that. Kewl. Went up to the office to do telemarketing at 6. It started at around 6.15 and we did a briefing like what we were expected to ask and say in the calls and all that stuff. Having to handle questions and tough rejections ain't easy. It's weird to make phone calls to someone you don't know at all and you have to pretend to be really nice and talk really polite. It's so weird that I have to speak in English because normally on the phone I don't speak English. So it's expected to see my this type of english standard on this blog. Haha! Met Stanley at 8 again to pass him cds. Yawn! I'm so tired now. Don't get to sleep really well this few days.

Oh ya! I'm so suppose to go NUS to be a surveyor but they dont need people tomorrow. Darn! I missed that big chance to go NUS to try my luck and to tour around the school. Try my luck to meet someone I mean. Heard it's really big so I wanna go tour tour and see how big it is. I still had a hard time to make up a story so that I could make an excuse to go to NUS. It's rather complicated because I'm working for my office upstairs and my cafe downstairs. The cafe and office is somehow related and I'm not suppose to link anything with each other. So in the sense that I wanna go NUS (offered by the office), I had to make up a story to tell Philip so that he would buy it and I'll work secretly for the office upstairs. Even if I make up that story in the cafe, I can't tell the office anythign about the cafe. Complicated huh? I don't really know how to explain either. Just complicated that is.

Ok, my eyes are shutting down really soon. Haha! I sounded like some computer. I'm off to lie on my comfy bed. Nights!

Janet
blogged this at 11:39 PM

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Worked from 10am to 9pm today and I'm dead beat! PTO awards night and we were supposed to do catering for them like some buffet kinda thing. Busy like shit. Tomorrow still have to work in the office, 9am to 6pm. Then the day continues with Monday again where I need to get up early again to work in the cafe. I'll be delighted because Pay day's that day! Whoo hoo! Guess what?! I bought 2 black tops yesterday. I have not even get my pay yet and I'm spending already. 1 F Women top and 1 Giordano V Neck Tight Fit Tee which I wanted to get so long ago. Getting my pay means KBox's coming too! I'm dead happy! I'm offered by Munyee to do Telemarketing which is $7 per hour! I just have to use the phone and call people. Muahaha! Daisy and Nick is gonna do some survey stuff over at NUS or NTU. I wanna join them! I'll try to get Philip to give me 2 days off for that damn job because it's paying $6 per hour! Bwahaha!

Philip treated us Prata after work and we were planning to play pool but no where to play so went home instead. Gave Uncle Kelvin massage and actually I hit him too hard when I was saying somethign like "Steady lah!" Haha! You know like those friend friend and you hit that person at the shoulder? I did that to him and I was so shocked I did that because it looked disrespectful. He's 40+ years old! Though he's fine with it, it looked really bad but I gave him a really good massage and he complimented me on that. Keke.. =)

Took some fake roses and stars home from the flowers received given to the cafe for their grand opening. I got my own flowers! Lolx! Pearln and me were like saying since we're alone this valentine's, take it as I gave her the flowers and she gave me those flowers. Haha! Got to work on Valentine's day! Sounds really bad but it's not after all. If you are out on the streets and you are dead single, thinking of the boy or girl you can't get, better stay at home. All you will see on the streets will be couples holding hands and flowers. You will be dead jealous and heart wrenching. So my advice to those single people out there, stay at home or just work your way through so you wouldn't even think about it. It's the least you could do to spend that lonely Valentine's day. If not hang out with friends and party your way through. Exchange gifts for friends. That's really sweet too. =)

My eyes are closing. Got to wake up at 7.30 tomorrow and start working at 9! Gosh! Ciao!

Janet
blogged this at 1:21 AM

Friday, January 28, 2005

Yeah! I got my new phone and new plan! Free incoming calls whole day! I'm loving it baby! =) But now also no point, because ain't anybody's gonna call me. I need to cut down quite a lot actually. My bills every month with that previous plan I'm using which is Classic, it's costed me like $70+ $80+! Now got to cut down a lot since I've started working and I have to pay the bills myself.

Guess what I'm doing again. I'm drinking. Muahaha! I'm a bad drinker, this I must really emphasize, because 6% could hold me down. This stupid drink taste like antiobiotics. So sick after drinking one sip and now I'm almost done with it.

Started working at 10am to 8pm in the cafe today. I didn't went up to the office. So went walk around with Melvin in J8 and had dinner. Went back to J8 again but everything's close. Thinking about my pay. I'm so gonna get whatever I want! Muahaha! Money is everything! Money can't buy a lot of happiness but at least some. Material happiness that is. Gosh.. I'm getting tipsy! =) Tired too! Tomorrow gotta work again. Ciaos!

Janet
blogged this at 1:03 AM

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Yawn! Oh gosh! It's damn tiring holding 2 jobs. Though one could be rather relaxing for just staring at the computer and key in data, the energy drained from sitting on the chair too much is hedious! It's really cool. Had lunch at Cozi aas well as dinner. Had Linguine Marinara! My favourite kinda pasta. Seafood.....! Hehe! When I got home, my dad told me he bought oysters for me! I'm so happy! I got oysters to eat! Big and juicy ones. Now it's in my stomach digesting. Yummy... Feeling rather heaty I must say. My lips are cracking and it's starting to be turning red or should I say it is red now. My eyes are gonna shut. I still got to wake up at 7.15 today morning, since it's past 12 now. Yawn... Don't think I have much time to blog much recently. So just hope you guys wouldn't be bored and continue to update yourselves about me! =) I would like to know... Who is actually reading my blogs? Nobody's tagging and it's really boring? Please tag me just perhaps say a hi or somethign like that in my tagboard to let me know you guys are my loyal readers? Haha! Cheerios! =)

Janet
blogged this at 1:08 AM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Whoo! I was still talking about earning enough and today I got the deal! Philip did say something about working the in office doing some data entry stuff. Mun Yee Approached us today and she introduced to us what we need to do. We're gonna start work tomorrow! =) Great deal. This week is just far too busy to do anything. I can't even change my phone, and my hair treatment is not done yet!

Let's see. My schedule for this week is so darn packed. Tomorrow I'm going to start handling 2 jobs. 9am to 10am in the office. 10am to 3pm in the cafe. 3pm to 10pm. This is going to carry on until Friday. I think Thursday I'm doing full shift for the cafe, which means I only work from 10am to 8pm, but stuck in the cafe whole day. Saturday there is this social event held by the cafe, where I need to be there by 12 and work till 10+. Sunday I'll be in the office working from 9am to 6pm. See? That's really packed. I'm feeling rather heaty in me. Need lots of rest for now, so I'm turning in after blogging this.

Took photos in the cafe with my colleagues today. Gotta wait for Iwan to upload them and send them to me. Yawn! I'm tired... Night!

Janet
blogged this at 11:15 PM

Monday, January 24, 2005

Shuks! Something's wrong with my previous skin so I changed into this skin. Ain't that bad huh? Spend like 10 minutes to transfer everything over. Tag me and give me comments on it alright? =)

$163 for 6 photos, including make up, clothes, and hair styling. Is it worth it? I get to keep those photos. Another client of my dad's company. Bet my dad's gonna say it's a small company again, because the office itself is really very small. That lady is so mean! She says I look like 18 and that I can take bridal shots. Am I that old to even get married?! Or even looked married?! What a tongue she have huh? I'm not taken in! XP

Work like everytime. From 10 to 3 plus 4. I don't even know if I'm earning enough, or even earning what I ought to earn. Because there's no sign in and sign out form and I knock off irregularly. Had lots of customers today, was really confused. Clearing of plates and even serving, big headache. The ice cream looks really tempting because it's just so pretty! Keke.. After knocking off, Iwan accompany me to PS. We played Rock Fever 4! Not bad for a beginner! See Iwan?! I praised you! Muahaha! Let's meet another time and play TC2. I still owe you a game. Remember to bring camera! I wanna take a picture of the 4 of us working in our sucky uniforms. Hehe!

Can't wait to get my pay! I wanna go KBox! I wanna buy clothes! I wanna do this I wanna do that! Die... My pay ain't gonna be enough for sure. I'm so dead. I need more pay!!!!

Janet
blogged this at 11:31 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Turning 42 this year is my young and understanding mummy. She's always there for me when I'm down, but sometimes she's just over caring that I'm really afraid. She's much better than my father I totally agree. My dad comes home late, communicate with us but it just seems there's such a gap that we couldn't really meet. Still I love them, my dad and my mummy. My dad still brings home supper and bring us out to have our favourite meals. We also have family gatherings. At times we would ask Nick to accompany us. My dad would bring us to parks and we would just go there and enjoy. Back to my mummy, she's been there for me when I fall outta love twice. The rest she didn't know what happen but she would still try not to mention anything about love. She helped me overcome my first love, for 6 months. The other she just saw me crying real hard and keep pestering me to say what happen. That's what I call over caring. It really freaked me out. I'm crying so hard and yet she keeps digging the sad matter. I love her still! =) She's the best mom I'll ever have. Some friends of mine also wants my mother. Keke...

It's been 2 days since I last blogged. Now I'm drinking while blogging. I can't drink much. Remember getting drunk in the chalet. It was just 5.5.% of alcohol and I felt giddy after drinking the whole bottle. Normally I drink half of it, my face would turn red, but that time I finished the whole bottle but my face ain't red. Instead, I felt giddy almost immediately. I could tell I'm drunk. Not to the puking stage but I'm starting to speak really loud and all sorts, I couldn't walk properly too. Haha! Imagine now I'm drink 6%! But left a bit only. I drank it the other time. It's peach flavoured. I love peach! =)

Damn! I wanted to write about what happened 2 days ago, but I couldn't remember anything about those 2 days. Oh no! I'm getting really old. Haha! Let's talk about today huh? Hmmm... Woke up at 11 plus and watched E Entertainment until Gee Teng called and said Nick and he would be coming over and watch home DVDs. So I thought cool, since I've got nothing to do the whole afternoon. They came over and stayed till 6 plus then they left. I left for dinner too. We went to Chef Chan's something something, some chinese cuisine beside Raffles Hotel. It was good. Especially the oyster, damn good stuff. After that we went to PS, played the arcade. Rock fever 4 rocks! I just love playing that. That's what I did for today. Now I'm drinking and getting a bit giddy now. Even less than half the bottle. Man! I'm a bad drinker. Haha!

Janet
blogged this at 10:30 PM

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Now my stomach hurts like shit! Maybe it's the steak I ate just now. Urgh! Pain!

Work today was alright, wasn't that many people. I was the cashier today!!! I was kinda nervous for the first time, I had to re-key one lady's orders for 3 times before I could get it right. So embarassing. One thing, I realised my work is until 3 plus 4 and not 8. Sobx! It's damn early. After work, I called Nick and we went shopping in Orchard. He bought his comics from Kinokuniya and I went Heeren to check out the price for those black punk wristbands. That is to match with my New Year clothes! Came back home around 6 plus. Darn early I said.

I thought I could give him up as quickly as I thought, but it was a really terrible night for me last night. I dreamt of him but I don't remember what was it about. I just know it's something bad and I was panicking and feeling scared. After I woke up and turned in again, the same thing continues. I didn't sleep well at all. I felt as if I was frowning the whole night. I find it really stupid and weird. We were together for even less than 2 months or should I say 1. We never got to spend any of our anniversaries before, and psst, it's coming. I don't know why I'm feeling all this crap I never felt before. It doesn't feel good. It's really torturing me. Since it's over for us, and that I know we can't be together again, I would really wanna brainwash myself in one way or another. I just don't wanna remember everything. He's like my shadow, following me everywhere. Everywhere I go, whatever I see, reminds me of him. I've thought through, since he can't accept me for who I am, no point we should be together, because I had already left a black mark in him and that wouldn't erase whatever I do. Even my good points would be covered by that little mistake I made. People just tend to see the bad points of one, rather than seeing the overall. If I'm that bad, then I'm sorry, I'm not suitable for you. You deserve someone better. I couldn't meet to your requirements, I couldn't be what you want. You yourself once said nobody is perfect. I'm not either. Accept it or lose it. I lost you or either way, whatever the case is, find someone who suits you. It's amazing how short we lasted. I just can't forget how we started. Even started going out with you when I with "him", you know who. The feeling you gave me was really different from the rest. Even different from Joel. Maybe because of the intimate times I could spend with you and that I had never spend with other guys before. It's really hard to forget you I must say, but I think it's easy for you. You gave in more in any other relationships you had. So now, I ain't that someone special in you but I hope you find someone soon. Someone you could accept and love wholeheartedly. While at the mean time, enjoy your single and carefree life. Take care...

Janet
blogged this at 11:35 PM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Hell I thought it would be such a day! I only worked till 4 today! Damn! Which means I only get paid $30?! Urgh! Philip or Philips I don't know, he offered us another job in the same building, doing office work. We just need to key in data and we would be paid $4 an hour! Not confirmed about that yet, they still need to arrange, because we are part timers. Yep! Surprise surprise. Iwa lives in Thomson which is so near to us (Melvin and me), and Pearlyn lives in Woodlands. Rather close too. My face is burning hot and my hands are rather cold now. I hope I'm not sick. Guess what?! I saw this really cute and pretty girl on the mrt today while on the way back. From CHIJ Toa Payoh I think, because she boarded the train in Toa Payoh, that's why I guessed that. She got the charisma and she's just damn attractive. I couldn't help but keep staring at her! Oh my my.. What if I turn lesbian? Haha.. I can't! My hair's long! Cut them short?! HELL NO! I kept it long for so so long! I love my hair! But I just love cute and pretty girls too. Shit! I think I'm bisexually. Oh no!!! Haha! Bewareeee!

About my work today? Hmmm... I did the dish washing, even though there is a dishwasher?! I did washing of cups and mugs? I served? I hate ushering! I cleared the tables? Cleaned them? And I'm gonna be the cashier next monday and next friday!!! Whoo hoo! I was learning it from Forest today. A "she", pardon me. She taught me a bit here and there, guess Philip/s gonna stand by my side and guide me too. The only dish that attracted me would be the Linguine Marinara. Seafood and clams in creamy sauce? Yummy! They have Tiramisu too, selling for $3.80. So expensive. Wasn't feeling so well while working, felt a bit giddy but after awhile it was alright. Had really heavy lunch today. Ebi fry with rice. Had it at 3 plus, I was so full that I told my mother not to cook my dinner, I ain't gonna have dinner.

Suddenly wasn't used to waking up so early in the morning. I couldn't get up, but the thought of my first day of work and I get income, I got out of bed as usual. Money-minded? Nah! I'm just in need of money!

Ain't it fast? After Chinese New Year, the next big day for us teenagers would be Valentine's Day. Where's my date?! I don't see you!!!

Janet
blogged this at 8:36 PM

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Good news! I'm employed! Muahaha! Located at Tanjong Pagar Fuji Xenox Building, behind Coffee Bean. But it's only open for business on weekdays, from 10am to 8pm. I don't know what's nice there, ought to try it when I'm working there tomorrow.

I went down to BHI office today. I had to pay $550 for a set of professional make up kit, just for the camera lights! Have to undergo training too. On Sundays, 6 lessons. And what a coincidence is that BHI worked with my father's company before! My dad's client! So yep! I don't know what else to write. I've written almost like what happened daily and now that I get my job! Whoo Hoo! I love it! I'm gonna get paid $50 a day too! For just working for 10 hours?! That's what I call life! $1000 a month! Yeah baby! =) Saturday and Sunday don't have to work because as I said, not open for business! I'm still free on weekdays! =)

Janet
blogged this at 10:05 PM

Monday, January 17, 2005

I need a job and I went to a job interview today, introduced by Melvin. Looks not bad. From morning 10am to 8pm, located at Tanjong Pagar. If I'm employed, they would call me tomorrow. I hope they do. I'm so tired. *Yawn* Waiting for Godfrey to call. It's been so long since I last talk to him on the phone.

I got approached by another lady today, asking whether I could leave my name and age and number, they are looking for freelance models. While I was on the way for dinner, they called me and asked if I could go meet them tomorrow in their office. So I hope tomorrow goes well. I didn't know Melvin and I got same interest! We both wanna try out acting. Haha! Nick, Daisy, Melvin and I even thought of forming a band, but we don't have the talents that's all. Melvin had even tried modelling before! He's good! Haha! He got looks I can't deny, still recalling when I was in Sec 1, he was one of the cute guys I saw in school.

If I could be someone famous for a day, I think I'll be Britney. She may be slutty or bitchy whatever you guys might think, but I think she got the best figure I've ever seen! I want her talents, her figure and her carefree character. She's famous for her guys, but I think she got the qualities to flirt around. She's pretty. Hmmm.. Don't know what time I'm turning in. Gotta wait till Godfrey calls. Zzz... I'm still waiting..

Janet
blogged this at 10:45 PM

Away from blogging for 2 days, because I'm just too busy chatting with people online. Whenever I opens my blogger, I'm suppose to have some peace and no disruptions so that I could write everything in one shot rather than stopping half way to do something else. Yep! I've just woke up so nobody's online. I could write in peace. Hehe..

Been talking to Robby and Kevin online recently. Both of them are just cute! =) Entertainers! 3 of us have web cams so we would always turn them on whenever we see each other online. Something's really wrong with Robby so I hope he would be alright. He's too much to the "devil" side. You know? Satan? Yeah! He sounds really possessed last night and that scares me. Kevin? He wasn't online so I didn't have the chance to talk to him last night. I talk to Kevin more than Robby recently, after Robby introduced me to him, or vice versa. Kevin's turning 17 this year too! He's birthday is on the unusal 29 Febuary. Alright, enough of these 2 guys.

So, yesterday I was out shopping for my New Year clothes and I'm done in an amazing hour! I got my top and bottom and heels in just an hour! I didn't hesitate much whether to buy or not, because I'm a type which wil regret after awhile. Whenever we reach one shop, I like that thing, she would say if you want it just take it, don't hesitate. So I just took my skirt, my 2 tank tops and heels just like that. I wanted to take a photo of the stuff I bought but I don't have a camera! I have a web cam but it's blur so I thought, it wouldn't do much of a use too. I bought a brown miniskirt, one black and one white tank top, and a pair of heels! I fell in love with the heels at first sight! I saw it, took it and ask for size 5! I wore it and look in the mirror, oh my my! I'm taking this! Haha! I think I'm gonna wear the black tank top with the skirt and heels for New Year, going together with my black necklace and a handbag which I'm still searching for. I wore the whole set and showed my mother yesterday and I looked kinda Punk in a sense. Haha! I love it! Heels the most! I finally got what I wanted for so so so long!

Alright, I'm kinda rushing for time. I'm going to meet Nick and Daisy later. Going to window shop around then go to the cafe at night. I'm so gonna get that job! I need money! Yep. I'm going to prepare myself now. Girls need more than an hour to prepare. Now I know why, because you need to bathe and dress and do your hair and stuff like that. Doing up the hair takes the longest time, especially when you have long and thick hair like mine. Haha! It's tedious! Oh ya! Aunt Faith says she's gonna bring me to do another hair treatment at yishun for free! Haha! I love my family so much. They just dote on me so much! =) I'm so gonna repay their children next time. Ciao!

Janet
blogged this at 1:09 PM

Friday, January 14, 2005

Damn nice show! I've already got frightened at the beginning of the show! I loved it! =) Some obsene parts but overall, I give it a thumbs up! Let me let you guys a bit of info on the show. They showed one naked lady in the bath, and got killed in the end. They showed Chucky masturbating, so that he could get his sperms and put it in Jennifer Tilly to make her pregnant. That's all I'm gonna say! The rest you guys go discover yourself. It's NC16 and not M18 anymore! Cool to that! =)

Alright, what I did today was to go back to school early in the morning again. Shun Hui wanted to pass EnLing her English tys, so I accompanied her. Got lollipops for those people. Hid away from Mr Goh again, we hid in the toilet. Haha! Stayed till about 12.45. All were released. It's the Friday! They were having CCA orientation for the Sec1s too. Shun Hui, Nora and me, we left for 7-11. They went back to school but I went to Noreen's place. Was looking for jobs in her newspaper. Couldn't find any. Called this spa place, they were recruiting for receptionist or clerk. They said if I got no experience, I need to work for full time! That means saturday and sunday I got to work too! I'll die of exhaustion. I need a break man! I can only have a break on weekdays. A 1½ day off. I need weekends! So got to continue searching.

1 big news! Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital. Something bad has happened to me. Nah! I'm just joking! Audrey is born! My new baby cousin after Ruth! I'm gonna see her tomorrow! Oh I can't wait! After receiving the news, we went to catch Seed of Chucky. I've noticed a few nice shows too, after watching the trailers. "Hide and Seek" is nice too! Another horror! Cool! "Constantine" is cool too! It's about devils. Keanu Reeves is acting in it! "Hitch", about dates, Will Smith is acting in it. "The Aviator" seems nice too! =) I got tons of movies waiting for me to catch!

After watching it, I came home straight and here I am, blogging. Sunday! Another big day! My aunt is bringing me shopping! She asked me ifI'm free on sunday. I'm too free and she said she's gonna bring me to buy clothes! Muackz! I love her! Haha! My budget's $150. Now I'm wondering whether should I still get the Billabong set of clothes I wanted. Oh my my! Anticipating!

Great day today! Tomorrow and Sunday! MUACKZ! I'm loving it! =)

Janet
blogged this at 6:46 PM

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I miss them so so so much! I saw those girls of mine and I hugged them really tight! After so much that happened, dancing is still a part of my life! I went back to school and escaped from a lot of teachers. Especially Mr Goh! After hearing from Theodore that he might chase us out. I hide like shit. Haha! Stupid Wilson keep disturbing me. I damn recovered yesterday and he reminded me of him again. URGH! Keep saying about me and him. Yep! So I waited for the first recess bell. There was like a war. Theodore, Ena and Wilson were so busy and I just sat there and watched. Haha! I feel so bad, I wanted to help but I can't because I knew nothing about those prices. The first recess was rather boring. Knew no one. I love the second recess! I see so many people! I went stalls and just boo on everyone! They were so shocked to see me. Especially EnLing, Nora, Eleonora, Grace, Dilah, Jannah, Zurah. I miss them like crazy! Still wanted to meet them after school, but Grace and EnLing couldn't make it. So I waited for Nora, EnLing, Dilah, Zurah, Jannah. Waited till 3.20 when Nora finally came out. Discussed after awhile and decided to go Zurah house and dance! Whoo! I miss dancing with them. They have the talent man. Dancing with them just makes me really carefree. Thinking of taking part DanceWorks but thinking about it, I don't know if I could afford the time. My mother is urging me to get a job! I gotta pay for my hp bills really soon. Even now I got problem feeding myself, don't even mention my hp which I use like nobody's business. Damn! I gotta think how I'm gonna survive like that.

Yesterday was a hectic day! I dealt a blow, left really depressed. After listening to La La by Ashlee Simpson, I felt over alright! I blast out the music and kept repeating. I was talking to Robby and Kevin online too, these 2 guys are really really nice. Too bad they live in Malaysia, Miri. They made me felt a lot better, they really cared. I was urging them to visit me in Singapore. Hmmm... Wondering when can I meet them. Robby is turning 18. I don't know when is his birthday! Or should I say I forgot? Damn! Sorry Robby! Lala~ =P Kevin! I know I know! February 29! Haha! A "hard-to-come-by" day.

Oh man, Lunar New year is coming. I have not buy my clothes yet! I'm thinking of Billabong! Get the skirt and tank top I want, so I can save up that money instead of buying it myself which could cost me a big bomb! Wanted to get a gown actually, but after thinking so much and asking for opinion so much, they told me to get a gown! But I thought, perhaps mini skirt and tank top could be more reasonable because I could wear it when I go out. The gown can only be worn in formal occasions and that I got no more wedding dinners to attend to because all that are suppose to be married, all are! Perhaps the next one I can only attend is my own want! Haha! Really! No joke! I'm the eldest. Both of paternal and maternal sides! All call me biao-jie or tang-jie. Hehe! I would never sound old, because no one's gonna call me AUNT! Muahaha! I'm loving it! Alright, gotta control myself. Dead bored now. Robby!!! Kevin!!! Where are you my koopies?! Haha! I learnt this "koopie" from them last night or should I say early morning at 1 plus. It meant "dogs". Keke! =) Alright. I better go burn songs for the girls. They are bugging me for it!

Janet
blogged this at 8:49 PM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Boring day again. In midst of my job hunt. Another day moving like hell without him. No news of him but his nick tells almost everything. I don't wanna think, but whatever I see just let me sees him. I'm so in a mess! What should I do?! I want to give up, I don't dare to because my feelings are still there. I miss him so much I wanna talk to him but I can't and it really hurts. When I'm here writing about all this stuff, I'm missing him like crazy, but is he? I wanna know what he is thinking. I wanna know everything! Give me an answer, at least I know what to do. Don't give me a glimpse of hope again and dash it like nobody's business. It hurts like crazy and I hope you know that. =(

Anyway, in case you guys don't know it. Others in my blog writes my wishlist, my blog song and my photos.

Was talking to Ching online yesterday and we were going shopaholic! We were browsing through Roxy and Billabong sites and we fell in love with their products! Even mentioning of creating a "Un-Love Rehab Centre" website. For those who fell outta love and we as organisers would plan outings and at the same time know more friends or perhaps matchmake! =) It was a crazy idea because we could never fork out the time and all the knowledge on html codes and stuff. Singapore is small, what can we organise too? Haha! Sounds interesting but can never come true.

- I miss you but do you know? Would you do the same? I love you still but my hope looks really slim...

Janet
blogged this at 6:20 PM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I didn't go to SP today. All of us were getting rather sick of it, still considering whether to go to the D&D on the 14, but I bet it ain't gonna be too fun too I guess. Early in the morning Shun Hui messaged me ans say she's not going to SP, so I replied asking why. She didn't reply me till I was at the MRT station and I called Nick. Nick picked up the call and say he was in his dad's office! So I'm like what the heck?! Ain't you coming? He says nope, I told Shun Hui to pass you the message. So, duh! I didn't receive it and damn we headed home. Jo came over and burn CD while me lying on my bed dozing off. I was dead tired. I slept at 10.30 and woke up at 2 plus, saw my brother hogging on the computer so I thought, nah, I'll let him use it so I could use the computer for the whole night today. So I on the television, tuned in to Channel 5 and watched Glam! It featured Carrie Chong, Jamie Yeo and Vernetta Lopez. Man! Carrie reminds me of him and I miss him dead much.

It was some flashback early in the morning when I left home. I missed how we started. The day we first hugged, the days we went out, the days when we had each other by our side, how he embraced me, the way we looked into each others' eyes, the way we teased at each other and those sweet little things we did for each other. Nobody is perfect as long as we accept for who we are and everybody would be happy.

Yesterday was really boring too. We attended the short talk in the morning and they brief us on the afternoon programmes. It was dead boring so we left SP and went down to Orchard. Did some window shopping and took photos! While going back, I stopped and thought, where is my ring? Asked Shun Hui and she said I took it. Damn! I lost it again. No fate with that ring, I've lost it once, found it back and I lost it again. Sounds like my relationship huh? Hmmm... Thinking aiya, I've lost it, I'm lazy to go look for it too. I was about to take the first step and walked into the MRT station, one lady approach me. Guess what she said?! "Hi, I'm from Create Talent Agency and I'll like to ask you if you have done modelling before? We are looking for freelance models. Would you kindly leave your name and number down so that we could contact you?" Whoo HOO! It's like a dream come true! My jaws dropped opened and stared at her, I left my number and name and left. I told kor about it and he said it could be of come scam. So DANG! My dreams are like flattened. Asked him why and he says those agencies would ask you to do some portfolio which cost a costly more than $100+ and leave the portfolio with them. A scam!

As for my relationship? It's always in a mess. I still love him like crazy and miss him like no other. It didn't turn out good. I wanna salvage but I don't know how. I wanna give up but I don't dare to. After he stepped in my life, it's like a fairy tale. It gave you what you always hoped for and *poof* it's gone in a while. He's the sweetest guy I've met so far, among so many other. Bet he didn't know. We clicked like straight away. It was a miracle! I never knew there is someone out there who I can read his mind. Perhaps on music and other things wise and not the relationship part. That's a torture. I really don't know what to do now, but I wished we were together longer. I miss him....

So Jo called just now. We ain't going for the week already. How bored can that be? I miss the times whenever he's bored he would message me! Dang! I'm thinking so much. I need a job. Fast!

Long time since I spotted quizzes! Today's a long entry because I'm just dead bored and I can't stop thinking about him. Just need something to keep me occupied.

http://star-girl.org

Janet
blogged this at 8:06 PM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

A day when I'm single and thought of freeing myself from all the headache, I went out with Nick to Queensway, and guess what?! I see so many people wearing Vodafone jersey! That reminds me of him because he's just a hardcore ManU fan! I see like about 5 times in one particular damn shopping centre! I even heard the not popular song in the shopping centre which is somehow related to him too! What the heck?! By the way, the song is "Stay The Same" by Joey McIntyre. He's like my shadow, following me everywhere. I'm still thinking whether I've wronged him, even though I'm really angry, I should understand. I really wish he could explain to me. Even just telling me how bad I was or even if he liked that girl. I would rather him to tell me the truth then to give me excuses. I don't wanna avoid. I love and hate him. I don't like this feeling. I miss him but does he miss me at all? Do I still trust him? Can I still trust him? I know he can't fathom my flaws no more. I wanna give up but there's that devil in me asking me to reconsider. One big question mark, does he still love me? Would it be possible to be together again? I doubt so. I really doubt so. I really don't know what to do. I love him still! URGH!!!

Janet
blogged this at 11:39 PM

I really hate to say this but I'm dumped for the second time by the same guy! I hate it! Thought it was still going perfectly alright, I was so wrong! I hate it when someone steps in the picture. I'm in the wrong. In the wrong to let people dump me over and over again. I'm sick of it! Come on! I need a guy to dump! Ok ok... I'm acting. I'm qualified enough to be an actress. Still thinking how faithful he can be? Well, that's complete bullshit. Why should I be bothered to love him so much? When he could be thinking of someone else behind my back? Be angry with me what so ever. I don't care! I'm fuming too! I'm sounding veri selfish but imagine the blow I've received.Urgh! What am I thinking?! Who is he missing?! I don't even know? I can't help but keep thinking! I don't want to! I'm hurt enough! By the same guy?! Damn! I'm dumb and dumped!

Janet
blogged this at 1:49 PM

Friday, January 07, 2005

I skipped the CFP (Career Familiarisation Programme) again, but this time for the sake of him. =) Poor him, having high fever, running nose and cough. So I went over to his place to accompany him the whole morning till 6.15. I didn't tell my mother I was at his place, so as usual she thought I'm at SP, but in fact I'm at his house. Well, who doesn't lie? Not too many times though, and only lie if there is a need to. He felt burning hot when I touched him, but he was shivering. His temperature went up to 39! So I got him his medicine, put ice cold water towel on his forehead and let him sleep, while I'm on his computer, doing nothing. At one time when I was really sleepy and he was fast asleep, I took his magazine to read, I laid the opposite direction of his, lying on the bed reading then suddenly, someone opened the door. I didn't wear my specs so I suspected it could be Erlina's mother. I was right. =) There are still some things that are bothering me. I will wait for the right time to ask. Or maybe I shouldn't. I don't know!

Didn't have breakfast nor lunch. Just finished my dinner and now after eating, I feel so sleepy. The digestion is draining my energy. I'm tired... *Yawn* But I ain't gonna sleep yet. Now I don't know what to do except to keep writing. He's playing his game and if I don't do something, I'll fall asleep. I can't sleep in a bloated stomach! Bored! Totally!

I need another job soon! I'm looking for office work, so that I don't have to stand. I'm just too lazy! Hehe... Anybody wanna hire anyone?! Or anybody got lobang?! Please!!!! Tell me! Urgent!!! =)

Janet
blogged this at 8:04 PM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Couldn't wake up at 7 until Nick called and asked if I still wanna go. He called Shun Hui and viola! We ain't going to Singapore Poly today. So here I am blogging about nothing? I'm too tired to get up so I woke up at 1, and that was the time when my brother just reach home from school. Am I just a pig? Just dead tired, because I was on e phone with him till 2 and got up and called him at 4 for his soccer match. Just a hard core ManU fan. Got back to sleep in split seconds and woke up at 1. Was on the phone with him just now and I really miss so badly the times we spent at the chalet. Spending some time with him alone in my chalet and fancy me getting tipsy in his chalet. Getting tipsy that time wasn't that bad though, at least I didn't puke.

My vain craving is back. I'm just a make up disaster. I don't know how to make up! Except for the lips, lipstick is just simple. Mascara, blusher, eye shadow is really a task for me. My nails? Hehe! I made a big achievement! My bad habit's gone and now I got nails long enough to scratch myself! Scratch myself at the thighs the other day when I was sleeping. I changed colour from transparent to black, to pink, and now purple. I bought them all at J8 Sasa where it's all available from $2. I bought black, pink, purple and white nail colour. Now that I'm so broke because I don't have a damn job, I could only look at clothes like how I used to always do. I always feel so damn tempted to buy them, but whenever money comes to mind, damn! I hate it!

Thinking about yesterday, I was at West Mall with Joanne. It's in Bukit Batok in case you guys don't know. Recalling back to last year some where in the mid year, someone from our school got murdered there. It's really eerie, I was damn shocked when I heard about it, though I don't really know him but I felt pitiful and sad for him. I walked past Sportslink slowly, that's where he had his last breath, and I couldn't bring myself to walk inside. It was just really eerie, or perhaps psychologically, I'm just thinking too much. I told Joanne what if he's haunting that place and all sorts. Urgh! Scary scary! We walked past quickly and just headed to the foodcourt. We ain't hungry at all, in fact, we were so full! As I've said, Singapore Poly just have so many nice food to eat, or maybe just because they are having a bizarre now that's why I say there are many nice stuff.

I'm afraid of my results! I'm afraid I can't enter Singapore Poly. Sobx! I'm afraid I'll stay in GYSS, which I damn so don't want! Grrr! I don't know what to do if I can't enter Singapore Poly. I'm thinking of so many institutes. Ngee Ann Poly, La-Salle, Temasek Poly... AHHH! Help!!!

- I miss you so badly! Can't wait to see you really soon! =) Love you!

Janet
blogged this at 4:36 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Spending the third day in Singapore Polytechnic tomorrow, and today is just so tiring. Well, we had field trips and we went to RSAF musuem today, and the Yakult factory. We were dead hungry after the RSAF trip and after that we were dead tired after the Yakult trip. It was really fun though, because there is someone with me to spot pretty girls and hunks there. Let me mention, hunks are really little! I didn't see one at all. Really bad... Haha! But I saw one from our Group A. Girls in group A? A few I can say. The food there, really tempting for me but I'm so dead broke. I can hardly spend much on food. I must also control, if not I'll get fat for sure! Haha... I've already plan my dinner for thursday and lunch for tomorrow. Scary isn't it?! It's just so yummy.. Haha! I wanted to get a henna tattoo, but he says not nice, so perhaps not getting one.

I'm going for the dance club on thursday. We'll see how the dance goes and all that. They offer social dance and Hip hop dance. I really don't know what to choose if I really get in SP. Social dance could be used in the future and they also offers rumba, salsa, waltz and all that! Hip hop it's more to my interest so I'm like... What the hell should I choose?! I can't get both! AHHH!!! Haha.. I'm anticipating for the dance lessons! Oh ya! And we got a Dinner and Dance on the 14. Anticipating for it too! =)

Janet
blogged this at 9:30 PM

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Yeah! It's the New year! Remember now, it's 2005, not 2004. Careful while you write your date people! =) Stayed up all day since yesterday. Wen Quan, Tuck Yong, Alex came over my house to play. We played Mahjong, thanks to them, now I know how to play (a bit only). Played Dai Tee too, and watched "Everyone Has Secrets". Some korean movie with sexual humor. Really funny movie.

Yup, and today we went to catch "Meet the Fockers". Really hilarious, a show not to be miss! That baby nephew is also called Jack, but it's Little Jack, they called him L.J. Same like Jack Jack in "The Incredibles". They are both so cute!!! Especially when L.J says ass... hoooooleeee.... You can laugh like crazy. I can't blog much today. I'm dead tired. Well, as I said I stayed up whole night! Can't wait to tuck in my cosy little bed. Alright! Signing off!

Janet
blogged this at 1:35 AM