I'm peeling! I'm like some snake right now, I'm peeling my black skin off my body, especially my arms and back. Looks disgusting and unsightly. We had a little problem yesterday and I promised him, I won't be wearing like what I'm wearing anymore. I'm not his girlfriend. His future wife to be! I got to think about how people looks at me and what impression I'll leave on others. Although it's really common for people on the streets to set their judgements on you and teenagers like us would normally say, "Let them say what they want lah! I'm not what they say I am and why should I care about how they look at me?! Accept me for who I am or fuck off!" Teenagers like us? On the majority thinks this way, am I right to say that? Though I may dress a bit skimpy but I'm not some slut or bitch who goes fucking around. Now, I got to think twice for what I wear. It's really a pain to hear of what people says about me and it's more irritable when I have to deal with such problems. I'll revert back to who I used to be, not the skimpy and bitchy looking kinda Janet. I'm sure somehow I'll still dress like usually how I dress because it's a change I got to adapt and somehow, I'll miss what I used to wear. I don't buy them with someone else's money but my own money! I'll feel pain if I don't wear them and hell just to leave them aside for them to rot. I can't bring myself to do that kinda shit. For him, I'll change. Try my best to change.

And psst, to some bastards out there. Next time please bring your girlfriend out and not some monkey you use to show off just to show how beautiful she is. No offense but I'll try to put some meaning in it. May be a bit insulting but listen. You don't bring a girlfriend out and ask her to wear as skimpy as sexy as possible to just show off. It seems as if you just wanna get that extra attention on the streets. Put it this way like, "Look at my girlfriend! She's pretty and she's mine, you can't get her!" But people or friends might think like,"Hey, your girlfriend's cute! Open up her legs yet? I betcha! Give your ratings!" It's really horrible just how some people think. No offense to those girls who wear like that, I used to wear like that as well. Just a reminder to how people on the streets think about you. I believe girls don't wish to be labelled as "slutty or bitchy". Some enlightenments I got from dear, my mother, his mother and his god mum. Just think about it.

I'm going to the hospital to see Ruth(cousin). She had high fever and was admitted to the hospital few days ago. Heard that she vomitted and fa yang dian yesterday. Fa yang dian is behaving not like usual and she's shaking, like as if she got a stroke? I don't know how to describe. Sounds really serious. Tomorrow I'm going to get my IC! Finally! Can go clubbing already. I don't know if I still should. Haha!

Received NYP's letter yesterday and yeah, as I expected. My appeals ain't sucessful. If this nursing I couldn't get in, forget about the one in NP. I'll definitely fail that as well. I don't know what to do next. Should I get some private course? But I have to pay in cash and it's not freaking cheap. Retake my O? But I'm afraid I'll fail again if that's the point why retake? Waste of money. Unless I can gurantee I'll definitely not fail. Should I work till next year then try the intake for next year? But by then will I get used to studying again? Because I've stop entirely for a year. What if I can't get in a poly again just like what I'm doing now? I wasted a damn year again! What should I do!!! Enlighten me!

Janet
blogged this at 12:24 PM