I'm gonna work tomorrow. Four Stars Building, really tattered and old building. I couldn't sleep last night. I could only think of him. He was the only one who kept me awake all the while. I lied on the bed at 12 plus but ended up sleeping at 2 plus after taking a flu pill. Was tossing and turning and tearing. I even tried patting mysef to sleep but it didn't work. Slept still somehow. Received a phonecall from hubby at 5am. We chatted for about 15 minutes. It was the first time I still felt awake after picking up the phone call. Because, normally I would talk in a kitten's purr if I'm really very tired. I would go "hurrr...? hmmm..." really softly. He called again at 6am. It was after his breakfast and he's setting off to Tekong after putting down the phone and the conversation only last for a minute. We both held back saying the last bye, his throat trembled. My tears rolled down my right cheek. Took a deep breath and I went back to sleep. Uncle Hwee called at 8 plus close to 9am to inform me about the bus stop just outside the road of the Four Stars Building. Woke up at around 12.45pm and got up to inform mother that I'll be going to the office to get my pay. Asked if she wanna tag along. She tagged along and we left around 1 plus. Reached there around 2 plus and had lunch at Subway. Mother's first time having Subway but it's my second. Walked around the Korean Mart just opposite The Amara. Took the train back to Bishan after that. Jo called and was heading towards her store. Laughed at each other and put down the phone. Chatted at her stall while mother went to the ladies and the NTUC to get the spare ribs. Alan Chua was the topic, he's getting married soon?! Gosh! I can't believe it. Was on the way home when mother when to get the wheat grass drinks for my grandmother and headed home stright. It was too late to be cooking dinner but we still did. I cooked the soup for today. It's the soup I learnt from hubby's family. Corn soup. His favourite. Had dinner while watching tv. It's unhealthy. I've been doing that since my childhood, and right now I'm blogging. I've not bathed yet. I'll bath after blogging.
Gonna go there by train tomorrow with my mother. It's at Kallang Place, it's damn deserted. I can't imagine how's work gonna be. I'm not used to working with strangers. All the previous jobs I had, I always had friends with me. This time, I have my boyfriend but, I don't have him physically, only mentally. I can't dial his number. I have my mother to guide me, down this unknown road, a place she hadn't been before. I don't know if I can listen to music while working. I'm afraid if it's too quiet I'll fall asleep. I don't know if I know my way back home alone. I don't know if Uncle Hwee could give me a lift. Many uncertainties that can only be made known tomorrow onwards. ='(
*darling, today's the first day you are away. how i wish miracles happen just like how both of us ended up together. i'm hoping that i'll receive a call from you. i'm hearing your voice in my mind. i know once you read this, you will start saying sorry that you couldn't be by my side when i needed you most. i wouldn't blame you and you know i never did once. every men have to go through ns, nevertheless you. even if you don't go through it now, if we're still together years later, we'll still encounter the same problem. don't have to worry about me. i had my lunch and dinner today. i'm still alive blogging, and i never stop missing you. you have my love with you and i have yours. it's not lost. it's right here in my heart. =) i miss you lots hubby.
Janet
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