I'm born, worn, torn and soon gone. I feel cramp, fucked up, whatever. Venting my anger on this fuck shit. Well, also not anger exactly, loneliness maybe.

Had Received Pronunciation assessment today, and it was fabulous. I've gotten an 'amazing and great' comment from Claire. Things may differ when it comes to Northern English and Cockney. After her class today, I shagged. Totally. Just went quiet all of a sudden. I thought I was giving too much energy during the assessment that's why I snapped. But I doubt so now. I'm just not in the mood. Had chicken rice for brunch (combination of breakfast and lunch). Pei Shan, Alicia Rachel yakked away but I'm zipped up totally. Ma Tian Ling's class was worse. I wasn't in the mood AT ALL! I'm just tired, and closed. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just wanna sit somewhere like the beach, feel the breeze and scream all I want, cry all I want. I have so many things to do, so many things restricted. Told Ma Tian Ling I'm not in form today, and I want to rest, so Pei Shan and Alicia rehearsed. Dean's rehearsal was next. How I wished he had fogotten. Rehearsed that mad duck patient till 4 and now I'm at home, feeling still like shit. Detest how I'm feeling now and yesterday night.

I wish you are here now. I feel terrible. I hope you knew.

Things to do and that's why I'm so cramped

• A Lie in the Mind script (memorised by CNY) Performance on 23 24 Feb


• Miss Drake goes to Supper (memorised by CNY 22MARCH) Performance on 6 Mar


• Costume design for Blood Wedding. (Sketch Idea presented by 1 Mar)

Internal conflicts!!! Over what I don't know. I feel so many things fighting inside me. Pain.

.BORN.WORN.TORN.GONE.