Just reached home and I'm really dead tired. Was supposed to look around so presents in the end we ended up in the arcade for more than an hour. Wanted to stay on but I've got a show tomorrow and I know I'll be going home alone tonight so I went home earlier than I thought I would. It's 12.08am now so it is early. Haha.

Just feeling so crap. Shun Hui just told me she's coming to my show. I'm really really glad. I feel bullshit because I've smsed more than 20 contacts to ask people to come to the show. But apparently nobody came. I hate this feeling because when people asked me what I'm doing recently and I said I'm in NAFA doing theatre, they would be so delighted to hear that and say I'll see you perform one day. True enough, I did perform. It's not a in-house thing anymore. I'm attached to a theatre company and I'm really going to make money out of this theatre thing! But WHERE THE HELL are those people who were so "keen" to come and watch me perform? Bullshitters. Sometimes I don't even know if I should tell people that I have performances outside and ask them to support me because I know it's a waste of my saliva!When I don't tell them and they ask if I perform and I say I do, they would be like, "why didn't you tell me?" Does it really make a difference if I told you guys? Is it the wrong bunch of circle of friends that I'm publicising it to? Is it they're too busy to come watch me because they simply can't be bothered, they've got better things to do? Or am I someone who can be taken for granted and easily manipulated? Feeling so fucked right now.

Got to bathe now. I just feel that I have to say something about this. Can't take it anymore. I'm bursting inside of me that nobody knew. God damn.

Janet
blogged this at 12:04 AM